Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Dear cankles

Dear cankles,
So it appears you plan to stick around for quite awhile.  First of all, you showed up a little early.  I was expecting you in the 3rd trimester, or at least by the time the heat returned to Oklahoma.  But your presence since week 10, even on cold winter days has been a bit much.
And now it seems you are pretty consistent.  Early on to your visits, you at least departed overnight and gave me some days off.  But now, even after a good nights rest you remain. I find you lurking with me even on my best days.  You are resistant to water and though you do seem to improve if I prop you way up for several hours or wear compression stockings you never really go completely way and you return quickly.   Is that fair?  I think not.
And then there is the little matter of not fitting in my shoes.  If you are going to be here, you could at least try and squeeze into some of my favorite sandals... but NO you are adamantly opposed to several pairs of my shoes and force me to choose flip flops most of the time.  Don't even get me started on the whole loafer situation.... those were some of my favorite shoes and your fatness busted the seams!  That was down right uncalled for.  Not to mention I was forced to return those cute white sandals to Target because I couldn't get my foot inside!  REALLY CANKLES!?!?  You have no taste at all.
But the worst of it may have been when I compared you to my dear sister's normal ankles and slim feet.  Boy did you make me look bad then.  How could you make me into such a chubby girl?  Even after a I treated you to a cool dip in the pool one afternoon, you remain!   What can I do to get you out?!?!
So, dear cankles, it seems you may have won for now.  But I warn you, your time is limited!  Bring on the water and the propped up feet time!  I will continue to battle your bulge even if you are content to stick around.  This may be funny for you, but it's getting really old!  Isn't it about time you find another poor pregnant woman to bother?  Whats that you say?  It's going to be 80's all next week and you plan to camp out?  Well, I may not be able to stop you but I certainly don't have to like it.
Suzy's Mama

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