I am sure you have all been wondering where I went. I had a steady number of posts going along and then I apparently fell off the side of the earth, er... had a baby.. whatever.
The thing is, having Reagan has really thrown a kink in my schedule. You'd think the kid would allow me some precious blogging time, but no it seems she has her own set of priorities (selfish....). Anywho, since I know you all learned oh so very much from me during my very hormonal and hot pregnancy lets just keep the wisdom flowing now that I am living in mommy land.
First let me start by saying, Mommyland is great. I love it. I love it more than I even imagined I would. Sometimes I just want to go all Lenny on baby girl and squeeze her up! My sister thinks I neener the baby too much, but I can't help it. She is just oh so very lovable (Kissable, hugable, unbelievable...) And those that have met her will in fact agree. I have been blessed with a beautiful baby, who is very happy and even is a great sleeper! This I truly believe is my reward for suffering through my pregnancy during the hottest summer in Oklahoma history (yes, it seriously was. It's on the record books folks!) and then having pretty much everything go crazy on labor day. The saying about God laughs at your plans, well in my case it was God read my blog post about planning for labor. It wasn't a pretty day, and despite all the drama, pain and last minute c-section, out came this perfect baby. Biased? Who me? Umm, have you seen her angel face?
My brain is permanently fried. I remember experiencing my first episodes of "pregnancy brain" this summer. Pre baby I definitely would have described myself and a detail oriented person. In fact it was my strength! Now my mind has turned to mush. I constantly open a web page or walk into a room and then go completely blank about what I was planning to do. I forget stuff everywhere, and I feel like my mind is so full of thoughts about baby that it doesn't leave much room for other stuff. Like grocery lists, or schedules or things I really should have gotten done yesterday.
My house is really starting to get dirty, and I am really starting to care less and less. Whats most funny about this statement is that I was a messy kid growing up. My room was a disaster. But college broke me of my messy ways because those residence hall rooms are small and the mess in the tiny space drove me nuts. So I morphed into a very clean person, to almost OCD levels and I stayed that way even with our large house. I really enjoyed cleaning and organizing. If I noticed something was dirty, I would clean it immediately and then since I was already was scrubbing I would just keep going. My house was very clean everyday! Laundry was folded, boxes were labeled, things were stored properly. This week I noticed my coffee table had some major dust on it, so I wrote my name in it and went back to playing with the baby.
I would love to get rid of the last 12 LBS of baby weight but exercise needs energy and I am still adjusting to returning to work and that schedule alone is exhausting. Even though Reagan sleeps pretty well I am still getting up at least once to nurse and getting up early for work. So my exercise plan is taking the stairs 4 times a day to the 4th floor of my building to use the mommy room. Yep, thats about it. Go me.
And apparently the hormones don't dissipate much after the baby comes. I held it together the first week I was at work but come the following Monday morning and I was a mess. I had the hardest time leaving Reagan with the sitter even though I know she is fine. The thing is, I just didn't want to be without her. She makes me so deliriously happy and I am certain in my brain that no one can take care of her as well as I can.
And those things perfectly define a new mom. I am a scattered brained, messy, sleepy, still somewhat chubby Mom who just doesn't want to leave the baby. And life is so good. Yesterday when I woke Reagan to get her ready for the day she opened her eyes, stretched her hands way up and then gave me the biggest grin. She was as happy to see me as I was to see her! And no matter what the rest of the day entailed, that moment made it awesome.